Smell this milk.

No really. Smell it.
Mar 30
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Overheard in the elevator at the Driskill hotel

  • Between a gangly teenage girl and her father, as I entered on floor 8.
  • Girl: It would be really small. Mom wouldn't even ever have to see it.
  • Dad: [silence]
  • Girl: I've wanted to get this tattoo for a *really* long time.
  • Dad: [silence]
  • Girl: [silence]
  • Girl: I'm practically a grown-up.
  • Dad: You're practically a blockhead.
  • [elevator opens]
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Jun 22
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So long, sex neighbors. I am MOVING OUT.

Meet my new neighbor.

Yes. That is a chicken in my driveway.

*bawk*

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May 12
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Turns out you *can* pick your friend’s nose.
Turns out you *can* pick your friend’s nose.
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May 09
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Apr 28
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» Exploding Head Syndrome

While looking for an image of someone’s head exploding (I was having a rough day, don’t ask), I came across this page.

My favorite part: Note that exploding head syndrome is not an example of spontaneous human combustion, nor does it otherwise involve the head actually exploding.

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Apr 27
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Just a typical afternoon at work.

  • Sara: What does that mean in English?
  • Emily: I don't know.
  • Sara: Plug it into Babelfish.
  • Emily: "Blah blah blah blah douchebag blah blah."
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Apr 26
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Bertzilla!
Bertzilla!
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Tiny Penny
Tiny Penny
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